Once upon a time Lee thought it would be hilarious to splash Kevin with a puddle on a rainy day. Kevin fancies himself a good-natured chap and always appreciates some old-fashioned tomfoolery, even if he himself is the butt of the joke. What Lee didn't know, however, is that Kevin's mind is twisted haven for methodical, patient and dramatic retribution. No sooner had he accepted this splash than he set to work devising a diabolical and unnecessarily elaborate counter-attack.
Kevin bided his time for almost an entire week: opportunity presented itself in the form of Lee's goodbye-from-work party. Lee had been talking about the cake she wanted for weeks, so it took our protagonist little time to conclude that that very cake would be the most nefarious vehicle for his retaliation. When the appointed hour finally arrived this past Friday, Kevin pulled the old "boy, this cake sure does smell funny" routine and luckless Lee bit (so to speak) hook, line, and sinker.
I'd like to extend a special thanks to Amanda, my co-conspirator, without her admirable commitment none of this would have been possible. Her impromptu seat-change was the graceful opening volley to my subsequent deathblow. I'd also like to thank Koala Mart for providing the cake and extra icing, without which I'm not sure nasal penetration would have been possible. Finally, I'd like to thank Lee for her gracious acceptance of my childish antics and for not responding in kind, though she may very well be contemplating an even more extravagant retort even as I write this. I will sleep uneasily for about two more weeks, I think.
I don't think I've been in a proper cake fight since Dan Shinomiya's 10th birthday party. I can't believe how much fun I've been missing.
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