No Scrubs

February 17th 2009


So I think I'm getting an inkling of what it feels like to be a lone woman in the bar/club. The motorbike and rickshaw drivers of any city in Vietnam naturally assume a walking person is actually a person naturally dying for their company and services, not unlike the hapless males who believe with stubborn persistence that the aforementioned woman is just waiting for their companionship. Likewise, they all seem absolutely astonished when told their services aren't required, or desired.


I was in Hue. I didn't want to be in Hue, but that's where my bus took me and dropped me off for several hours while waiting for the next bus to get me to my true destination, Hoi An. Conveniently, the bus company knew "just the place" for me to spend my time. After escaping, I moseyed over to the part of town with a big fortress that I'd seen from the bus on the way in.


It was here that I met Tri, the most persistent coolie I've met thus far. Tri trailed me for no less than 45 minutes, using all variety of wiles within his play book to get me in his rickshaw. When the normal overtures failed, Tri would approximate my journey and ride ahead. After I caught up he'd act surprised, like two old friends meeting again after too long a separation. When this failed, he pulled out a photo and letter from "a happy American" who he had become the greatest of friends with over an afternoon of jokes and site-seeing. Truly, the Caucasian in the photo looked ecstatic. I was even permitted to read his ebullient letter (written, no less, in flawless handwriting:


Dear Tri


Yesturay I had the gratest time...


Well, you see where I'm going with this. Undoubtedly, at some point in history an American or foreigner had become friends with a coolie and shared a letter and photo or two. Further, this coolie undoubtedly let his friends know how much easier this made getting other foreign customers. Sadly for Tri, however, the tactic is well and overly played out. I'm not sure what the next evolution of this gimmick might be but I can assure you that Tri and I will not be starting a website or social-networking apparatus.


So I didn't even get to see the fortress in Hue because it was closed for two hours while the staff went to lunch. I did meet the tragic caricature called "Tri", however, and I got to write this email, so I guess all's well that ends well.